A Birthday Letter to Myself: Chapter 23 Unlocked

happy birthday to me, 23 things I've learned in 23 years, little life check-in and everything that makes me happy at 23.

Feb 02, 2025

So... I guess I’m 23 now?

It’s funny how birthdays always sneak up on you. Like, I can read a calendar, but there’s still that Wait, already?! feeling. When I was younger, my birthday felt like this huge, magical event—weeks of countdowns, wish lists, balloons, friends and the secret hope of getting a letter from Hogwarts. Now, it just kind of blends into the routine, this weird mix of nostalgia, expectations, and a mild existential crisis. 23 feels like such a middle age. Not quite the chaotic early twenties, not yet the fully put-together adult era (if that ever actually exists). It’s that in-between phase where you’re supposed to have things figured out, but also... not really? You’re still a kid in some ways, too young to be that adult, but also to old for some kind of childish behaviors. Some days, I feel like I have a grip on life, and other days, I’m still googling “how to fold a fitted sheet” like it’s an advanced physics problem.

Growing up, I thought adulthood would come with a manual—some grand moment where you suddenly become an adult. Spoiler: that moment never arrives. Instead, you just keep growing, learning, making mistakes, and realizing that no one actually has it all together. And birthdays? They stop being about the presents and start being about presence. About looking back, looking forward, and, most importantly, celebrating the little things that make life feel like home.

So, here I am, 23 candles in, figuring it out as I go.

Learning to focus my special day on who I am and who I want to be.

By the time you’re reading this post, I’ll most likely be enjoying a delicious pizza with my boyfriend and his friends, laughing and soaking in those little moments that make life so special. Honestly, I’ve never been the biggest fan of February—it’s that dark, cold, and short month that seems to drag on forever. And especially, I’ve always had a hard time celebrating my birthday in what I’ve always considered the saddest month of the year. I mean, who wants to blow out candles when it’s freezing outside, right?

As a kid, I felt a little bit left out, especially since my friends born in the warmer months seemed to have the best birthdays. They’d have parties outdoors, in the sun, by the pool, or even on vacation—how cool is that? Meanwhile, I was stuck with limited options: indoor parties with a handful of decorations, and the weather? Let’s just say it wasn’t exactly birthday-perfect. But despite all that, I always tried to focus on the positive and make the best of it. I mean, a birthday is a birthday, no matter what the weather's like, right?

As I grew older, though, the whole birthday thing started to shift for me. It became less about the big, traditional parties and more about making the day feel like mine. No more parents organizing everything with my school friends, where the only thing I got to choose was the design for the cake (yes, it was always the same, a simple drawing with a "Happy Birthday" written in colorful icing). Instead, I started to look at my birthday as a chance to do something fun, relaxing, and just what I wanted to do. Maybe it’s going out to dinner with loved ones, spending a quiet day at home, or even just indulging in a little me-time. As I’ve gotten older, it’s all about the little moments that make me smile, and those are the moments I try to celebrate the most. It may still be February, but I’ve learned to embrace it for what it is—just another opportunity to appreciate the present, the people around me, and the simple joys that life has to offer.

23 things I’ve learned in 23 years

I used to think that by 23, I’d have everything figured out.

Spoiler: I don’t. But honestly, I’m starting to think that no one really does. The truth is: growing up looks different than I imagined. There’s no grand moment where you suddenly feel like an adult. No secret formula that makes you wake up one day with all the answers. Instead, life is just a collection of small moments, mistakes, little wins, and lessons learned along the way. Some hit you like a lightbulb moment; others take years to sink in. And a lot of them? You have to learn over and over again.

Over the years, I’ve picked up little lessons—some deep, some ridiculously simple, but all of them have shaped me in one way or another. So, in the spirit of birthdays and self-reflection, here are 23 things I’ve learned in 23 years:

No one really knows what they’re doing, we’re all just winging it.
A solo coffee date can be the best form of therapy.
Saying no isn’t rude—it’s necessary.
The "perfect time" to start something doesn’t exist. Just do it.
Rewatching your comfort movie is always a good idea (dead poets society is a kiss for my heart)
Sleep is truly underrated. Like, 8 hours can change your life (for real)
People remember how you make them feel, not what you say.
Your younger self would be so proud of you.
Walking without music sometimes feels like a reset button.
Good and simple skincare > heavy makeup.
The best moments are usually unplanned.
Sometimes, you just need to romanticize your life a little.
Social media is a highlight reel—don’t compare your behind-the-scenes.
No one is thinking about you as much as you think they are. Everyone out there is busy thinking about themselves and their own lives.
It’s okay to outgrow people, places, and versions of yourself.
Investing in high-quality, nourishing food is important.
A tidy space = a tidy mind.
our mind and your thoughts matter, and you need to take care of them.
Making your bed in the morning actually makes a difference.
The right people will never make you feel like you’re “too much.”
It’s important to surround yourself with the right people, those who uplift you rather than those who make you feel second best.
You don’t have to love every part of yourself to be worthy of love.
You’re allowed to change, evolve, and not have it all figured out. And you don’t always have to justify yourself to others. If you want to change, just do it.

Enjoy who you are and celebrate your wins

I have to admit, in the last few months, as I’ve had the chance to explore and get to know this platform, Substack, I’ve really learned a lot. But more than anything, I’ve met so many smart and inspiring people who, through their words, have made me reflect a lot. They’ve made me think about how important it is to accept ourselves for who we are, what makes us unique, and what makes us strong. And I think this moment is the perfect opportunity for me to reflect a little more on who I am.

Five things I love at 23:

Starting the day with a perfect cup of coffee
Quality time with my favorite people, feeling that beautiful connection
The charm of mugs and all things ceramic
Writing just for the fun of it—whether for me or for others—about everything that sparks joy, while it’s raining outside.
Getting lost in the magic of cinema

Five things I want to learn next:

Mastering the art of Latte Art and crafting gorgeous cappuccinos
Learning to be more present and really appreciate what I have
Diving into the world of wine and discovering its many wonders
Becoming a little more outgoing and embracing new connections
Learning to show up online as my true self and share the things I truly love

When we really think about it, there are few things that make our lives special—being mindful to better understand ourselves.

Cozy nights on the couch watching movies and TV shows with my boyfriend
My sweet kitty (she’s no longer here, but her presence is always with me)
Writing my Sunday newsletter on Substack—my little weekend ritual.
Reconnecting with my family after weeks away at university.
Skincare and haircare sessions, taking the time to pamper myself.
My huge obsessions for Scotland and Canada.

Birthday Wishlist

I'm learning not to desire material objects so strongly, but a birthday wishlist is a must I would say. Obviously the moments spent with your favorite people are irreplaceable, and I will be eternally grateful. So, here are some few things I'm eagerly eyeing for quite a while:

Rhode Peptide lip Tint and Treatment + Pocket Blush
A new bag for the university (MacBook Air friendly)
Cute mugs are always appreciated!!
Some cozy clothes (whet's pajamas, a scarf or socks; to always feel at home)
Jellycats, how beautiful are they????
A new Vlog camera (sometimes coming hihi)
Travel box organizers, or travel needs and accessorises (I plan to do several trips this year so I have to be comfortable as much as possible)
Books books books

So, as I wrap up this reflection-filled post (and turn 23!), I’m reminded that life doesn’t have to be about having it all figured out. It’s about the little things, the lessons we learn, and the moments we choose to embrace. It’s about accepting ourselves, imperfections and all, and appreciating where we are in this crazy journey. And while I may not have every answer or know exactly what’s next, I’m excited for the ride ahead. Thank you for reading, for sharing these thoughts with me, and for being part of this little corner of my world. I love you so much and thank you for your incredible support.

We’re 500 of us!! Isn’t that amazing? Honestly, I do what I do because of the motivation you all give me, and I’m so grateful for every single one of you. This little community we’re building means the world to me, and without you, it wouldn’t be the same. Just a heads-up—since it’s my birthday, there’s a 50% off promo for the entire paid subscription (both monthly and yearly)! If you’re looking for a way to send a little birthday love, signing up for the paid plan is a great way to do it—but no pressure at all! I totally get that not everyone has the financial means to sign up, and that’s why even a single free subscription is a form of love that means the world to me. I truly appreciate each of you and every form of support, and I’m so, so thankful.

See you next sunday!

With Love,

—Michela.